It finally happened.

The mad scientist look paid off in a hilarious way.

When my daughter was in nursing school, she had to purchase a lab coat to wear for chemistry classes. Being short petite diminutive vertically challenged, I looked at that lab coat and saw the possibilities.

I have quite the collection of aprons, but they don’t protect everything, and being a messy an enthusiastic cook, I was losing too many of my favorite shirts to splatters from oil or butter as I sauteed and stir-fried dinner night after night.

So I bought myself a lab coat on Amazon. Lab coats cover more than aprons ever can, and they have pockets. And I entertained myself with the thought that if I ever had to answer the door while making dinner, somebody would think I was either a doctor or a mad scientist.

It took eight years, but that finally happened today.

Mad scientist, for the win

Tonight I had just put the onions and red bell peppers into the pan when there was a knock at the door. I turned down the flame and ran down the steps, and when I opened the door I saw two young men with the telltale name tags that signal the solar-energy pushers that cruise my neighborhood year-round.

The one closest to the door did a double take as he began his sales patter: “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re very busy … are you doing a SCIENCE EXPERIMENT?”

His partner doubled over laughing.

Day. Made.

I explained that I was cooking and that the lab coat covers more than an apron. I politely informed them both that I’m not in the market for solar, and closed the door.

And I’ll be sure to be wearing that lab coat the next time the late-afternoon solar evangelists come to call.

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Copyright 2025 Barb Szyszkiewicz

Photo copyright 2025 Barb Szyszkiewicz

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